I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
