i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
