she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
