There is no way he is gay with that hair.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There are leaves in my underwear?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
