hotel room ftw
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
