is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
