So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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