Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize