you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All the doctor said was why
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
