Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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