I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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