can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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