..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize