I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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