the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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