I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize