You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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