so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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