I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
