none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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