Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
