hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
