when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
