I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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