it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
