I love black thongs
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Congratulations! We have a period
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
