Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
