Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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