yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
