he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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