omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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