The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
