i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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