he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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