this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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