I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
