I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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