Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You may now shotgun with the bride
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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