I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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