You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
