So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
