She said her name was "party"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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