At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
