There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
