i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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