I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
