Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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