you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
