even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
