We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
