Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
