I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
