no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize