We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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