there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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