Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize