Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
how can u be prego again
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
