I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
