Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i will never coherently bang her
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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