no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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